Dearest Rachel –
This morning – although when it’s this dark, if feels strange to call it such, even if this is just the way things are in the winter – as I got up and braced myself to head out to the gym, it occurred to me that the folks didn’t bother to ask Daniel what he might want for Christmas this year. They’d been asking me occasionally over the past week about what he might want, and while I expressed the odd opinion or two, I suggested that they speak to him in person about it to confirm whether he wanted what they had in mind. But for whatever reason, the question was never brought up.
It’s not even as if the topic didn’t come up; somewhere along the way, it was discussed about how everything more or less worked out last week so that the two of us kept up our weekly custom of eating at the folks’ on Thursday. While I agreed about how Thanksgiving going pear-shaped resulted in us spending it at the folks’ place instead, I also mentioned that one of the traditional agendas of the Thanksgiving get-together – that of swapping Christmas lists between the three family groups (our, the folks, and my sister’s) never took place, leaving me at a loss for what to do for them for Christmas at the moment.
Now bear in mind, this wasn’t meant as a hint for them to take that ball and run with it, as far as Daniel was concerned. This was just a simple observation on my part – and one that I still need to deal with over the course of the next couple of weeks. But this morning, I found myself struck with a bit of l’esprit d’escalier by proxy; that was an opportunity for them to ask him what he wanted, and they passed it up, for whatever reason.
To be sure, one of the things they asked me about was the fact that he’s been wearing the same boots that he has for at least the past couple of years. Considering the number of gym shoes I’ve gone through in that same amount of time (although granted, I generally put between twenty or thirty or more miles a week on them, so maybe that’s to be expected), it’s a reasonable idea to suggest. However, when I talked to him about it the other day, he indicated they were holding up – and presumably, holding him up – just fine, even as I’ve led him on treks through one city or site after another on our recent travels. He just really doesn’t like swapping out for better things, once he’s comfortable with what he has – and while that could be a separate subject for another time, I’ll leave it at that for now. The point is, their top-of-list idea for him was nixed even without them coming out and asking him outright.
So, as far as I know, they still have no real ideas as to what to give him at this point, although it’s entirely possible that they may give something to someone else in his name for Christmas. I don’t think I’m spilling any beans by saying this – it’s nothing more than a wild guess on my part – but it’s not as if they haven’t done it in the past, so if it happens in the future, it wouldn’t necessarily be a surprise. Besides, what do you give someone who claims to have everything they need or want? You give something to someone else. It’s a perfect arrangement, when you think about it.
But that’s all about the questions that went unasked; you’re probably going to point out that we didn’t spend the evening together in silence or anything. And that’s quite true, although, as with so much about life, it could be argued that much of what was said was of little or no consequence. Day-to-day, insignificant stuff that only becomes priceless when you run out, as the people you used to talk with on a routine basis leave your life for one reason or another.
Still, some of it was about plans for the future. Dad inquired about the details of our trip to Japan. Granted, at first he was asking about an upcoming trip to Israel, but with so many travels happening in such a short span of time, those not actually traveling with us can be forgiven for mixing up the destinations. Given that he likes to keep track of our itinerary in real time – that whole habit of experiencing places vicariously through us (and which I rather enable by shooting all the footage that I do) – I probably should scan the details from the travel group’s website for him to peruse in the meantime as we make our preparations.
Although, speaking of preparations, for all that I fret over Christmas, there’s also the family gathering on the Sunday before the holiday. At least Daniel and I aren’t hosting it; that duty, as has become customary, has fallen to Jenn to handle (here’s hoping she’s caught all the cold she’ll have to for the season). To be honest, it will probably be less of a chore than it used to be, as the extended family has dwindled throughout the year. You may have met some of them in these past months, in fact – although, as with yourself, it’s always a bit of a shock when it’s one of our own generation. I’ve not heard the details, myself, as to what happened; it may well be yet another question that goes unanswered at this point.
I do have to consider what to make for the event; and while Daniel and I like our fusion of Swedish and Japanese, the rest of the family doesn’t seem to be enthusiastic about curried meatballs. So I may just augment one of the dishes that tends to clear out before everyone’s gone through the smorgasbord line, and try my own hand at the cheesy potato dish that Jo Anne brings. Although, since I’m never one to leave well enough alone, I may throw in some crumbled bacon, just to make it that much different. I’ll let you know how that turns out in a little more than a couple of weeks.
For now, though, I should get back to starting today, rather than worrying about stuff so far in the future. Keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck; I’m going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 