You Just Have to Deal With It

Dearest Rachel –

Much like any other human, I complain about the the things that go wrong in, or are just unpleasant in my life without bearing in mind that there is plenty of ordinary stuff that makes it so much better than most (and with enough life experience behind me, you’d think I would know better). In particular, there’s a certain lack of urgency about life in retirement that is so much better than life in the work farce. Without having to report to anyone at a given hour – or even a given day – my schedule is (theoretically) free to do anything at any time, should something come up (although, to my dismay, things rarely do). Spread over an extended period of time, this affords the time to get out of town with a frequency that most folks could only dream of. In such a respect, I need to acknowledge more often that I’ve got it good in life; I only wish you could be here to enjoy it with me.

That having been said, however, there are times when I think I might be taking this very situation too much for granted. While I do live at a much more relaxed pace than most people (including myself from way back when, which is exactly why I should know better than to complain so much), it isn’t as if I’ve eliminated schedules, appointments and deadlines completely. Indeed, that’s simply not possible; the world continues to turn, and the moon and the earth circle in their respective orbits, and things happen at set points throughout these activities that need to be addressed, no matter who you are or what your station in life. As long as one still occupies this plane, there are requirements to deal with at set times.

And there’s nothing like making a plan to leave your usual paths to remind yourself of those things that need to be addressed before you go. To be sure, some things, like most of the larger bills that come up every month, can be dealt with online – and, just like last year, I expect to do just that with them; thank the heavens for modern technology. But then, there are other things that can’t be done remotely that need to be attended to.

Things like a dental appointment one day, and the cleaning service the next – first my teeth, and then our house. Attempting to connect with certain people before I leave, while having to send regrets to other such engagements, due to time constraints. All while bearing in mind that both Daniel and I need to get our gear together and packed – preferably as late as possible, so as to leave the least amount of stuff behind in the laundry bins – and arrange for check-in with the airline, the hotel, and the ship beforehand. Suddenly, this last week before leaving is a frenzy of stuff that needs to be done, rather than a gentle slide into what should be a relaxing time of vacation.

All of which is why I eventually want to get so much practice at this whole ‘traveling’ thing that it practically becomes second nature to me – while at the same time proving that I’m still a long way from being there yet.

Then again, maybe I’m over-reacting. It’s been so long since I’ve had every day filled with actual work (and nights filled with nightmares about work, although Mohinder still shows up more often than you do these nights, more’s the pity), that when the pre-travel window begins to close, the increase in activity that’s required of me feels frenetic, but if I were to stack it up against the typical workload of a decade or so ago, it wouldn’t be so bad. I’m certainly not about to be staying up until the wee hours on Wednesday night, making sure that we’ve got everything packed – that’s more the sore of thing you used to do, although in fairness, the wee hours were more your thing to begin with; I’m barely functional after midnight, not that I was ever otherwise.

It may be that one of the things that was pressing upon me until just now had to do with, ironically enough, our next trip. The final payment is due tomorrow, but it wasn’t clear as to whether or not things were going to work out for Kerstin – and over the past week, I hadn’t heard from her, which was a source of worry in itself. At this point, however, the matter has been resolved, albeit not in a direction I would have hoped for. Well, Lord willing, there will be other chances in the future (and maybe other places to visit in the interim); who’s to say?

But with that concern off the table – and that deadline being allowed to expire – things may actually be less of a concern going forward, aside from the usual activities I’ve already mentioned. It’s still nerve-wracking to make sure that everything on the home front is buttoned down beforehand – and now that I think about it, I’m not sure as to how our day in London is going to go, since it’ll be a little after midnight our time when we land; how much are we really going to be able to take in, before we just crash? And we’ll have to get back to the airport the next morning to catch our transport to the pier! – but that’s how things go. You have these moments of intense motion, interlaced with periods of just sitting around (such as in the airport or on the plane itself – never mind on the Tube); you just have to deal with it. At least once we’re aboard the ship, everything will be – you’ll forgive the expression – smooth sailing for the two weeks following.

Until then, though, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep an eye on us, honey, and wish us luck. We’re going to need it.