Dearest Rachel –
As she attempts to recover from her unplanned tryst with Prince Charming late in the second half of Into the Woods, the Baker’s Wife sings “back to life, back to home, back to child, back to husband… you can’t live in the woods.” Of course she doesn’t get back to all those things, as you know, for reasons far beyond her control, but aside from the encounter with the Giant’s Wife, such is the universal experience we all face after taking the time (or letting the time take us) to go off the rails now and then. At some point, we have to get ourselves back on track; we can’t go forward again until we do.
Granted, for me to claim that things have gone ‘off the rails’ over the course of the past weekend would be overstating things by more than a bit. I’ve managed to keep in touch with you throughout the weekend; even putting in a couple of two-a-days here and there, as topics and events keep coming to me. Likewise, I’ve kept up with “Lee” as well, although I’m realizing that a.) I’ve forgotten to do so today, and she’s already started her workday, so she’s not going to respond even if I do now, and b.) she’s been radio silent since Sunday, in any case. Maybe she’s dealing with the same doubts I am; in any event, she can’t be aware that I’ve been in contact with this Marguerite girl (and even if she was, you’d think she’d know I’ve walked away – quickly! – from her, so apart from my ongoing concerns, she hasn’t anything to worry about in terms of a rival).
At the same time, though, I’ve let more than a few things slide, too. It’s been a weekend’s worth of restaurant food, after all, in celebration of Daniel’s birthday (which I’ve rather dragged out over the length of the weekend, since there’s no getting everyone together at any given time; friends one day, family another – and oddly enough, the latter couldn’t manage what used to be a ‘usual’ Sunday after church thing). While I’ve been able to get to the gym every day bar Saturday, I can only imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t. I woke up this morning and discovered I was tipping the scales above two-eighteen. It’s going to take my full hour’s worth of walking uphill just to drag myself back to the two-fifteen line I’ve been long since hoping to leave in my rear view mirror.
But that’s just one of many things that need to be taken care of that I’ve put to the side for the sake of the weekend. I still have to prepare for the next couple of trips I’m going on; next month in Siguatepeque in particular, as I don’t think I know my way around Google Sheets well enough to teach it to others (and the nagging doubt that, if I learn it from watching videos beforehand, what’s preventing my would-be students from doing the same? Given that, what purpose do I really serve in all this?). Meanwhile, Dad keeps after me about the preparations for the trip I’m taking with Daniel in September, and how I need to make the incidental arrangements, like hotel stays before and after the cruise itself, not to mention any shore excursions along the way (not that anything grabs me in particular, for most of the locations, but we’d probably be better off on a guided tour at most stops as opposed to just wandering about each of the ports we’re stopping at).
Speaking of Daniel, there are other, more down-to-earth things that need to be taken care of that I’ve been putting off for the sake of things I (we?) would rather be doing. It’s been about a month since installing our new internet and cell phone package, and we need to bring in our old phones to get the appropriate credits on that. Granted, you might have tried to talk me into keeping the old phones (or not – you never seemed to be keen on upgrading to a ‘smart’ phone in the first place, so you might not actually have one to replace, let alone get attached to it. I don’t know), saying the rebate would be inconsequential in comparison to the sentiment, and you might be right. But we’ve gotten in the habit of being more deliberate in getting rid of things when it’s their time to go, and the credit is that much more incentive; we might as well take advantage of it while we still can. Additionally, since his birthday has come and gone, Daniel’s driver’s license has expired, so we need to get that updated as well, which will probably necessitate a trip to the DMV; moreover, I’ll probably have to take him there, as if he were to show up on his own, that would prompt more than a question or two about how he got there.
But look, I can’t blame Daniel for all the stuff that needs doing, or that his birthday kept me from accomplishing this or that. The fact is, I have to admit that these are things that I’d just as soon not do, and with all the distractions around me, it’s easy to simply fall into focusing on the stuff I want to do as opposed to what I need to do (even if the latter has a deadline attached to it – maybe even especially when it has one). I’m sure you would understand; after all, you often caught yourself procrastinating now and again about one or another requirement in your life.
Still, just as we “can’t live in the woods,” I’ve got to make my way out of it, back home, and back to the tasks that need doing, whether I want to deal with them or not. So while you would be able to understand and maybe even excuse my behavior up to this point, I’d appreciate it if you were to nudge me in the direction I need to go, while keeping an eye on me to ensure that I keep going in that direction, and wish me luck on my way. I’m going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 