He Is Not the Third Wheel

Dearest Rachel –

This morning, on the final day of the convention, we decided to pop for the brunch offered by the Hyatt. Unlike the Embassy, everything here is à la carte, rather than being a part of the the amenities that come from renting a room here. Not sure why, other than I suppose they figure they can get away with it, as their competition that does offer such amenities as a complimentary part of their booking can only accommodate so many people. Besides, they are where much of the action is, with all the screening rooms, incidental programs such as tabletop gaming and the manga library, as well as several of the largest programming rooms. Only the convention center itself, right across the street boasts more activity, and it doesn’t pull double-duty as a hotel.

In fairness, compared to some of the offerings elsewhere among what could be considered the convention campus and thereabouts, the brunch is fairly reasonable. For what I paid for lunch for just Daniel and myself at the entertainment district on Friday, all three of us could be fed this morning. To be sure, Friday saw us popping for appetizers and drinks as well as our main courses (although in his usual fashion, Daniel had an appetizer for his main course as well), but this morning, we were allowed all we could eat – although prudence forbade me from trying in earnest to get my money’s worth. In any event, it worked out just fine – especially since we were up as early as all that (well, at least I was, since I hadn’t been up nearly as late as I had on Friday night), hours before any programming was scheduled to start (not that much of the first few tranches of programming held any great appeal for any of us, necessarily).

The one thing that occurred to me about it all was went we were seated at our table. Daniel sat across from me (or perhaps it was vice versa), while Logan sat next to him. Daniel, in this situation – and really, throughout the entire weekend – is at the apex of the dynamic the three of us comprise.

In any group of three people, there are going to be two that are closer to each other, and one that is essentially the ‘third wheel.’ This isn’t a complaint or an editorial; this is just an observation of fact. Even if there were objective means of measuring such subjective concepts, there are no ties when it comes to relationships. Person A is going to be closer to Person B than they are to Person C. Normally, this would be a concern on my part about Daniel; given his social awkwardness, he’d be expected to be a third wheel in such a dynamic. However, in this case, he’s anything but.

Obviously, there’s the dynamic of family between him and myself. The connection between parent and child is a unique one, that a friend can’t match, nor should they attempt to. So Logan winds up on the outside of the two of us. On the other hand, while a parent can be a friend, it’s not advisable to always be one (even at Daniel’s age, I can’t let go of my roles as mentor and even disciplinarian, if necessary, to him, which preclude a constant state of friendship). And most certainly, I’d just look silly trying to act as a peer to him.

This is a role that Logan fills, leaving me on the outside. And I’m okay with that, since it’s not a role for me to fill; the fact that someone else is there to fill it is fine – more than fine – with me. Not only that, but it’s heartening to me to see that Daniel is in no way a third wheel in this situation, but rather the hub of our mutual dynamic. Sure, it’s a hub with only two spokes, but he’s at the center of our arrangement nonetheless.

Anyway, that’s my cheerful take on the subject, for your consideration, as we head off into the last day of this weekend’s festivities. For now, I’ll continue to ask that you keep an eye on us, and wish us luck, honey, as we’ll all still be needing it.