Not Ready For VR

Dearest Rachel –

I know there was a point at which I considered the idea of getting a VR headset for the office, even before the accident. While I hadn’t planned on becoming a YouTube gamer, it might have been interesting to have tried out the latest hardware, and let others know if it was worth their while to try. If nothing else, during the pandemic, it would have been a breath of fresh air (or at least the simulation thereof) to find myself wandering through a virtual landscape; to be able to travel without leaving my home. Or at least that’s what I envisioned for myself. As it turns out, there are a few additional realities to consider about virtual reality that proves that, even now, I’m not ready for it.

I suppose I should mention how this realization came to pass; you’re expecting me to be discussing our time at the anime convention this weekend. And so I am; it just so happens that there’s more to the event than just watching anime (and buying merchandise that may or may not be related to the subject).

One of the attractions at the exhibit hall was a video arcade, including classic arcade machines from our adolescence (as well as a host of home consoles from the last twenty years or so), a series of pachinko machines (for which you had to purchase balls to play with, but could presumably earn more, which could be used to purchase special swag)… and a VR setup involving headsets and everything.

The first indication that I might not get the full benefit of the experience was when I tried to put the headset on; it wouldn’t fit over my glasses, and the fellow manning the game station acknowledged that the headset couldn’t be widened to accommodate them. It was comfortable enough when I took them off, and I could sort of read the banner stating that “the horde is invading your castle!” but I could tell I was going to have trouble aiming at the figures stampeding toward the portcullis. I got the first few invaders as they meandered toward the gate, but one got a little too close for comfort, passing right by my section of the wall on his way there. I tried to lean over the parapet in order to shoot at him, rather than waiting until he was at the door, wrecking what damage he could to it in order to break in.

That was a mistake, as I found myself leaning too far out and losing my balance. I reached out to put my hand on the rampart to steady myself, only to be confronted with a reminder that this was virtual reality; there were no ramparts for me to lean onto to re-establish my balance. In no time flat, I went crashing to the floor.

It could have been worse; I thought I was about to pitch right over the castle wall and onto the ground that the invader I had until a moment before been trying to shoot down had trodden upon, a fall of several stories. As it was, I simply collapsed to my knees, and I might have sent one of the handheld unit skittering across the concrete floor of the exhibit hall.

The attendant rushed to my side to see whether I was hurt as I wrested off the headset. It was clear to me that I was in no condition to proceed and try to stave off the rampaging masses; indeed, by the time I got to my feet, they may have broken down the castle door already. I was laughing at the absurdity of it all – including the fact that I probably should not have tried to do all that I had without my glasses – when I felt a searing pain in my left leg, and reached for the chair I’d set my glasses upon, to steady myself to a standing position.

Once again, I was asked if I was all right, and while I tried to wave it off (“Nothing bruised but my ego!” I claimed, which was true – there were no marks, from my knee to points south), I was in fact rather worried. I’ve gone without walking for exercise for over a week now, and while I was still at or under the two-fifteen line as of yesterday morning, I’d have to get back to my routine if I were to get back to and under two-ten. But if I’d actually damaged myself, that might have to be put off indefinitely. This was not a good situation, and that thought crowded out any concerns I might have had about my embarrassing fall, as funny as it might have been to watch.

By the way, I’m not sure if I’m grateful that Daniel wasn’t paying attention until I was already on the floor. The least I could have hoped would be that he could get some laughs out of the moment, and it wouldn’t have been a complete waste. As it is, while he’s not going to hold it over my head, since he didn’t see the moment of impact, he only gets to consider the serious side of my limping from the circular pad I’d been standing on, and not the amusing fact that not everybody is ready for VR – and that one of those unready folks is his otherwise technophilic dad.

It took more than a few minutes of sitting around, and an equal amount of time walking in circles until I stopped having to favor my left leg too visibly, but I think I’ll be able to make my way about without assistance for the remainder of my time here. Still, I guess this is a lesson for me to learn; not every piece of technology is for me. I just have to figure out which things I can and cannot use before going out and investing in them.

And with that being said, honey, I suppose I should ask you to continue to keep an eye on me, and wish me luck, as it’s pretty clear I’m going to need it.