Having the Stamina

Dearest Rachel –

Years ago – has it really been two decades since last I went into such detail? – I used to write about these conventions, and everything you and I experienced at them that I could write down as it was happening. I considered it my little contribution to the community, and to the folks who couldn’t attend, to give them a little taste of what it was like to be there. This, even as I was fully aware that I simply couldn’t take in the whole elephant, and could only latch onto, and describe the “sail” that was the ear, the “rope” that was the tail, or the “tree trunk” that was one of its legs.

It’s even more pointless for me to try to do so now, as I just don’t have the stamina to keep up with all the goings-on – and at the same time, I lack the interest to take in this or that panel. So I don’t actually take in all that much to report upon, for those that would be interested. Considering that you made a point never to miss opening or closing ceremonies, plus as much as possible in between, you might be a little disappointed in me for that.

Besides, it’s not as if this is going out to an audience that’s specifically interested in the goings-on of such an event. Granted, I suppose that you would be, but after all this time, sometimes you could acknowledge the old cliche about how “when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all.” And you’ve certainly seen more than one ACen, having been to each one until the pandemic shut things down. And to be honest, I think the parts that you enjoyed the most weren’t the organized events so much (although you clearly had a blast at the large-scale Cards Against Humanity panels featuring real voice actors reading off the submitted ‘answers’) as the opportunities you made for yourself (and us, but I do recall many evenings when I was wiped out, and you would excuse yourself find fellow con-goers to play this or that game with), which I was less a part of than you might have liked even then. Those are stories I can’t tell you about, and I think you can understand that.

On the other hand, those folks who might be reading this over your shoulder aren’t exactly otaku, from what I can tell. If the analytics give any indication, it would seem that more of them are interested in travel, and some were paying attention to my dealing with Chompers’ ailments or that of my (and your) parents, since that’s what people find relatable. There’s also the occasional recipe, but since I don’t play by the rules of such stuff, but rather throw things in as the spirit leads me, I don’t bother to do that very often. So you’ll forgive me if I’m light on details; I don’t experience enough of them (or at least the ones you’d want to hear about) to make it worth the retelling, and I don’t suppose I have an audience that’s particularly interested in any effort I might make toward that end, if that’s truly what interested me.

It’s not that I’m completely stepping back from the spirit of the convention, though; I actually walked the boys through an entire series (called RELife, about a young man being offered a chance at a fresh start by reliving his seventeenth year, as a high schooler. It’s an interesting concept, and reasonably well executed) yesterday afternoon, much like Daniel and I did throughout this past week. Granted, one doesn’t have to go to an anime convention in order to do that, but sometimes it takes an event like that to inspire one to do so. It is different for me to be imposing a series on them, so that’s certainly something.

And it’s not as if I didn’t do anything having to do with the convention proper. Certainly, I took my turns through the dealers’ room and the Artists’ Alley and stuff like that. I even spent a fair chunk of change on one thing or another; particularly a few things that Daniel expressed interest in, since even he acknowledges that he’s a hard person to buy for with regard to his upcoming birthday. This way, I have a few things for him that nobody else would consider, or be able, to get for him. Although I will confess to having gotten a thing or two for myself, as well. At least I can spare the funds for such purchases these days; I often wonder about some of my fellow, younger con-goers.

As for the events of the convention itself, I did manage to attend one thing yesterday… and for all my protestations about no longer having the stamina to do so, I actually managed to stay awake, both in terms of going to the event itself (which started at ten in the evening; I’m more likely than not to be in bed by then on any given, normal day) and in watching the whole thing. I had forgotten just how rapid-fire the material that makes up Anime Hell actually is; no one segment lasts for more than a few minutes before another one is thrust upon the audience. There’s no time to get bored when you’re constantly being confronted with a completely new ‘bit,’ even though it went on for a solid two hours.

All the same, it made me long for the days when you and I would be watching something like this together, so we could share a laugh or our opinions about this bit or that. If I could bring this home to the others, and show it to them, would they be able to understand this experience? and so it was that, after the entire presentation, the guys running the show announced that copies of the whole thing would be available at the back of the screening room… after midnight madness.

And here is where I came up with the title of this letter; even back in the day, when we would try to stay up and watch all of the parodies screened at that particular panel, I couldn’t always stay up in order to be part of the crowd clamoring for the few copies available. How much less so could I stay up to request a copy of this show, since it wouldn’t mean staying up for another three or four hours beyond it? I have to acknowledge my limitations, especially without you to nudge me awake.

Of course, none of this comes as any great surprise to you. I’ve always had difficulty staying up this late; I’m actually kind of proud that I was perfectly ambulatory come midnight last night. But I don’t see myself being able to share this with anybody personally (I have to acknowledge that I was sharing it with several hundred fellow con-goers at the very least – but that’s just not the same thing), and I have to admit that it’s the sort of thing that just can’t be described or explained. It just has to be experienced; preferably at a ridiculous hour of the night, when everything is funny because of being punchdrunk from lack of sleep.

Anyway, that’s my convention thus far; it isn’t much, and to a certain extent, I wonder if I’m wasting my time or money in coming and being here. But I am here; I’ve kept the string going, as you would’ve wanted, I think. For now, keep an eye on me and the boys, and wish us luck. We’re going to need it.