We Can’t Disconnect Completely

Dearest Rachel –

For all that part of the appeal (at least for me, a non-fisherman) of this place – indeed, the entire island – was that it was a refuge cut off from the hustle and bustle of the outside world, you and I had difficulty going ‘cold turkey’ from it all.  A week – even a day – without the internet was a challenge, to say the least.  I would generally prepare by grabbing all manner of media – books, music and videos – and saving it on one or another hard drive to read, listen to or watch while there, since once they were in my possession like this, that could be done offline.

But that wouldn’t always work for you, as you had streaks you needed to maintain.  Kerstin tells me that you used to leave your ‘Gardens of Time’ Facebook game in her hands to maintain – which confused her at first, since when you asked her tend your garden, she was originally thinking you were talking about a literal garden at our house, and she couldn’t remember seeing one there.  But no, you meant this online game, which would offer you various rewards with each day you showed up online to collect them, and you didn’t want to miss out on what they might be by breaking your string.

Likewise, I think I recall that Candy Crush had a similar reward system for daily check-ins as well as getting through each level, and while you would occasionally just change the timestamp on your iPod to convince it that you had been there on a day you inadvertently missed, you preferred to make an appearance online every day.  I know you were proud of having done so for at least seven hundred, maybe even eight hundred, days in a row on that game.

I wonder what you would think about the fact that I’ve been sending you letters like these every day for twice that length by now?

In any event, there were times when you would venture away from the cottage to cycle around the island.  Now, there were also plenty of places you would go swimming; you indicated there were seven particular locations that you would visit, and one time claimed to have stopped at them all in the course of a single day.  For my recollection, I can only think of three offhand; there was the state park beach on the west side of the island, and both sides of the narrow spit in the northeast, but that’s the best I can do, in terms of non-private areas.  But I also know you would make a point of stopping at the general store for a while to update your standing on Candy Crush and other such games that rewarded daily attendance.  That’s how far you would go to keep yourself wired in.

Understand, honey, I’m not relating any of this out of some measure of smugness or self-righteousness.  Once upon a time, I was happy to be disconnected from external contact like that, but no longer, that’s for sure.  And let’s not forget that, at this point, I practically feel obligated to drop you a line every day.  It’s not so much that I’m keeping up a streak as keeping you informed.  But either way, it means doing just as you used to, and heading to the general store for a half-hour or so at a time, in order to take care of uploads and links.

And I’m not the only one; Daniel will wander off on occasion to the patio by the edge of the yard.  It seems that he can get cellular – and therefore internet – access from there, since our current plan supposedly offers unlimited data.  It’s not exactly 100% reliable, though, and so the uploads require me to make the half-mile trek ‘into town’ to make sure everything gets done.  So yeah; I might poke a little fun at your habits, but I’m every bit a guilty of doing the same as you used to.

I might claim to having some more noble purpose to my visits; at least one of these sessions was spent putting together data for church and sending it off, since they’re having their monthly board meeting today (and I had most of the information assembled before heading out to the island; I just needed to get the last few pieces added to it all to finish it up).  But I will admit that it was just the one time.  All the other days, I simply went to take care of my own business.

Most of the time, I don’t even bother to get out of the car; I just pull into the store’s parking lot, turn on the computer, and start uploading.  While it’s doing that, I’ll fill in certain details of the video, per YouTube’s basic questionnaire, and if it’s still processing by the time I get done with that, I may start on my next letter, if I have a topic at hand.  The one thing I’ve tried to stay away from, though, is going through my news feed; if I start on that, there’s so much catching up I’d feel compelled to do that I might never be able to escape.  So at least I’ve been able to wean myself away from that, for now.

But yeah, I can’t seem to disconnect completely, any more than you could.  I think it gets harder as life gets more reliant on the internet and such, but we’ve been bound by those connections for years before most people ever were.  We’ve voluntarily tied them tighter to us as the years have gone by, and now we can’t imagine a life without being wrapped up in them completely.  For what it’s worth, it keeps me in touch with you, but I still wonder if I’ll ever be able to go a day without in the future.  I suspect it won’t happen until the day I can talk with you face-to-face again; you can judge for yourself whether you think that’s a good or bad thing.

Until that day, though, keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck.  I’m going to be needing it.