Dearest Rachel –
It’s annoying to get reminders of things you need to do at the most inappropriate and inconvenient times. I spent Sunday morning in the audio-visual booth, listening to a sermon entitled ‘Roadtrip’ (about the conversation on the road to Emmaus – it was the week right after Easter, you understand), and found myself constantly thinking about the things I need to do in order to be prepared for our own roadtrip to the island in a couple of weeks – and obviously, being unable to do anything about it at the moment, both because I needed to focus on the tasks at hand, and because Sunday just isn’t a good time to be making such business arrangements, in any event.
I did try, when I got home, to rifle through the office for some of your old papers – I know that you kept a list of things you made sure to pack every time we headed out there that you would assemble to load into the car in the days before we were to take off – but without success (at least, thus far; I’ll let you know if I find it between now and then). But it occurred to me as I was doing so that, even if I found them, it would be mostly pointless. The boat and the fishing gear have been long since given away – and I don’t think any of us going really would want to do any fishing, even if we still had the tackle (and what would we do with what we caught if we could? Daniel doesn’t like fish, and I’ve forgotten everything your dad might have taught me in passing, anyway). Most of the computer stuff is either already in my backpack or long since obsolete; although I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to make sure that the video game emulator is installed on my newer laptops, just in case.
Even the list of foodstuffs wouldn’t necessarily be applicable for this trip; we’re planning to be on the mainland for the tail end of the weekend (visiting Cedar Point with the girls, which we made something of a tradition that went beyond your family’s longstanding ones. That, and a regular visit to Put-in-Bay on South Bass, which we’ll probably also be doing), so we’re likely to be eating out quite a bit during that time frame. Even while we’re on the island, we’ll probably hit both the pizzeria and the other restaurant on various evenings, so there isn’t nearly the same need for meals to prepare in-cottage while we’re there. So the guidelines you created from many years of experience on the island just wouldn’t apply in the same way that it used to.
Of course, this does mean that our experience on this final trip out here will be far different from any that we’ve ever taken, but that rather went without saying from the jump, to be honest. Your absence throughout this whole sojourn in the area is enough to make it seem all wrong; this was your favorite place in the world (although in fairness, I’m not sure that I’ve made up my mind as to what and where my favorite place is. That may be because I’m more conscious of the fact that no place stays the same way as I liked it, in any event – which, now that I think about it, may have been the very reason you loved the island so, despite the fact that it did change so much, particularly after your folks gave up on coming. In any event, this is probably a topic for another time), so the idea of being here without you just doesn’t make sense to begin with.
On the other hand, we will be there with a little bit of you; in fact, that’s why we’re going there in the first place. That, and hopefully giving the girls a chance to see what you loved about it – although you might easily argue that our itinerary and plans are so far removed from what you and your parents used to do that they really won’t get a proper feel for the place as you saw and loved it. You’ll have to forgive me for that, honey; I know I’m going to be showing them “your” place through my eyes, so the view is inevitably going to be distorted because of that.
Although, for that matter, the place isn’t going to be what I used to appreciate about it either. Back in the day, I saw the place as a refuge where I couldn’t be reached by my office (especially during those last seven or eight years, when it seemed like everything was hanging by a thread, even though we were perfectly profitable). Obviously, these days, I don’t need that refuge any more, since those work farce days are so far behind me that I’ve all but forgotten what they were like. And on the other side of that coin, both Daniel and I have gotten so dependent on the internet that a place like the cottage – with no real connections to speak of (that I’m aware of; who knows what the current owners have done with the place in the intervening years) – isn’t the little slice of heaven that it once was, even for me. So I won’t be able to show them that any more than I could bring them through a day in the life of your vacations with your family.
All that having been said, preparations still needed to be made to get everybody onto the island, along with the places we’ll be staying while on the mainland. Which is why I’ve been holding off telling you about this, since things seem to be in flux regarding people’s schedules up until now. But at this point, I think it’s more or less under control; Daniel and I will be leaving next Thursday and stopping at the usual place in Maumee (not that we have to, as the reason we chose the place was to accommodate Chompers, who’s not coming, even as ashes. But you know, tradition). If nothing else, we’ll want to have one last meal at a Waffle House; Lord knows when we’ll have another opportunity, as we don’t do road trips here in the States anymore.
As for the girls, it seems that they haven’t been able to clear their calendars to the extent that they would have liked to, despite the year-plus of notice agreed upon. Ellen is understandable, given her mom’s condition, and I’ve promised to film everything like I did on last year’s trip for you (although I’m afraid I may be a little more self-conscious about it, since I’m not going to be editing everything in my own little room like then. But we’ll see). Erin and Kerstin, however, won’t be joining us until Sunday, which gives us a chance to ride with them past the island, and take in a day at Cedar Point before returning to the ferry dock, and spending a last couple of days on the island (one of which – probably Tuesday, as Wednesday will be your day – might be spent over in Put-in-Bay) before heading home together. So they’ll get a really quick view of everything we used to do here – although not nearly as much in terms of relaxing and unwinding (and nothing in the way of fishing), I think.
But at least the reservations are in place, and I hope they enjoy what they can of it, even if it isn’t going to be their ‘favorite place on earth.’ Honestly, I should hope it wouldn’t become that; trying to arrange to get us all here on my own has been chaotic. I wouldn’t want to make it a regular thing, if it’s going to be like this.
But for now, things are falling into place, and I’m hoping we can manage it all. And with that being said, honey, keep an eye on us all, and wish us luck. We’re going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 