It Feels Like We’ve Done All This Before

Dearest Rachel –

Considering how rare it is that we get the gang together these days, and considering this is the first time we’ve been to this place, I feel like I ought to talk about last night and give you my impressions of the place. At the same time, for all the unfamiliarity of the place, with its wild décor and all, it all seemed so much like we’d done this before, and there wasn’t much new or different about it.

Maybe I’m just jaded, or maybe I was hoping for something truly new and different. I don’t know.

At any rate, this wasn’t my original idea, although I was perfectly willing to go along with it. There’s been talk of a hotpot place under construction in Des Plaines for a while now; by being closer to where Erin and Kerstin are, it would save them from having to traipse across several suburbs for us to assemble (as it happens, Erin is even less enthusiastic about driving at night – or driving in general – than you were, which is saying something). Evidently, the place just opened late last week, and as of Thursday, the group chat was making mention of the fact, and the desire to check it out. Since Daniel and I had seen the place on our way in to the Des Plaines campus last week, we knew where it was, so it only remained to ensure that Ellen knew where she was going in order to get there (coming from either her office in Lake County or her home in Palatine, she has to travel the farthest to get there, and you recall her sense of direction, especially to new places) in order to come to an agreement to meet.

It’s weird; this is the sort of place the three of us would have enjoyed together, if they existed in our neighborhood when you were still here – which they didn’t. But since your passing, several different such places have popped up in the area; this is the third such one we’ve been to since you had to go. And while we still don’t entirely have a grasp on what we’re doing – what are we supposed to grill, and what goes in the broth? Do we swish the meat around in the broth, or leave it in to make soup out of? – it’s at the same time getting familiar enough to feel like we’ve done all this before.

Sure, the décor was something different; the space theme this particular place has is really something else. In fact, you might say that it’s over-the-top, with astronaut mannequins at the entrance and hanging from the ceiling, along with space-age neon lighting all around the entrance and lunar crater pockmarks on the walls. I suppose I should have taken a picture of it all to show you, especially when we were watching another couple in the vestibule taking pictures of their toddler holding hands (albeit reluctantly, because well… creepy, faceless mannequin) with one or another of the ‘astronauts.’

Except, for whatever reason, it didn’t occur to me to do so. It may have been because we were still waiting for the last of the girls to arrive, and while we were doing so, we were amused (and slightly disconcerted) by the front door constantly being blown open by the howling wind outside. Now, it was a strong wind out there, don’t get me wrong, but it seems odd that it should be able to open doors when they’re supposedly clicked into place in the shut position. For having been open for maybe a week or so, this didn’t seem like it had been put together all that well. The decorations might be impressive, but to have something like this at the front door – a first impression, if you don’t mind my saying so – doesn’t speak as well of the place as the proprietors might think.

Of course, all that can be set aside once we’re inside and at our table. Any distractions, good or bad, effected by design choices or flaws, are subservient to the meal itself. And in fairness, once we figured out what everything was that we could order, it all went pretty well and tasted pretty good – although Erin has decided that she absolutely hates lotus root, and I’ve made a mental note to not bother trying oden when next I’m in Japan. As with other similar places, there’s an absurd amount of options to fill up on (although their desserts are fairly limited – but who has room for dessert after gorging on so much meat?), and the broth, once having been used to cook this or that item over the course of the meal, is rich and satisfying beyond words; definitely good for what ails you.

The conversation, once we finally figured out what we were putting into our various cauldrons (which took a bit, as we ordered a lot of ingredients at first, and sorting everything out proved to be more difficult than we expected) was refreshing to get back to. It seems that Ellen is making progress on her new place, and it won’t be too much longer before her mom will be moving up and in with her. That’s right; I’m not the only one leaving Macomb behind, never to return. And while that might seem melancholy to relate that way, most of the topic of last night’s discussion was on the fact that the work on her new condo is starting to take shape after a slow start; she’s looking forward rather than backward, which is healthy and admirable.

At the same time, this isn’t her first move since coming up to the Chicago suburbs at roughly the same time as you. She’s called several places – all in Palatine, for some reason – her home along the way. So even this one major development feels strangely familiar, somehow.

So yeah, so much of last night was theoretically new, and yet, it all felt like we’d been through it before – even if much of it would have been unfamiliar to you, had you shown up after the past four years away from it all. It’s weird in that way, isn’t it?

I don’t know why this gets under my skin to the point that it’s what I’ve decided to relate to you about last night. I’m willing to concede that I’m overthinking the whole evening in that respect. But these are my thoughts in the moment, or as near as; maybe, when we go there next time (and I hope there will be a next time), it’ll be easier to just set these thoughts aside and just enjoy the moment. That may be what I need to do with life in general, in fact.

Until I figure out how to do that and record the moment for you, honey, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.