I Still Think I’ve Been Had

Dearest Rachel –

Even before you had to leave, we had pretty much gotten to the point where our land line – which we still have – had become almost exclusively the property of telemarketers and spam calls, at least from my perspective. I think you still used it to talk to Ellen or Suzie or some of your other friends and relatives, but as far as I was concerned, when the phone rang at the house, it was spam or a telemarketer, and I wanted no part of it. On the other hand, I have this habit of not wanting the phone to keep ringing forever when someone calls the house – much like how I hate having a red dot over any of my phone apps, indicating that something hadn’t been attended to – and I will pick it up, if only to silence it.

That was probably a mistake on my part this morning, as I was about to head out to the ‘office.’ I had just texted the folks as to the fact that I was on my way out the door – indeed, I literally had my hand on the door – when the phone rang. So naturally, I had to go answer it, to be greeted with a deep, automated voice reciting my name, followed by ‘we have been trying to reach you; please press “1” now.’

This took me to an operator from a supposed law firm, or maybe a collection agency, telling me that I had incurred an ambulance expense back in late 2015(!) that I had not paid which they were trying to collect. The operator claimed that I had the option to ignore her, but if I did, I would be summoned by the county (and when I asked which county, they got it right, so they know where I live) to appear in court, and would be required to pay the full amount of the bill plus court costs, which would amount to more than three times the amount being requested.

The thing is, I know that every little thing from a hospital is billed separately, so things slip through the crack from time to time, so the idea that a bill never got to me to pay doesn’t seem all that out of line – not to mention that, after a certain length of time, I wasn’t answering the phone or acknowledging certain mail (due to receiving so much spam). So this still seemed plausible, even if I couldn’t remember anything from this far back (although Daniel wondered if that wasn’t when Kevin fell ill while he was at our house and needed to be hospitalized for his heart condition. Then again, that was in September, rather than December, and I thought I remember driving him there from our meeting at Sparks, rather than taking an ambulance. In any event, I don’t recall what year that was).

Moreover, while the amount being requested wasn’t small as some people consider smallness (although given our position, it would be considered relatively trifling), the idea of having to appear in court and effectively have to pay treble that damages was enough to strike fear in me. It’d be a gamble to call her bluff – one I wasn’t willing to take.

So I asked if I could drive to my ‘office’ and call her back about this – which is where most scammers, in my experience, would have hung up on me. They don’t want you to have their phone number if they’re illegitimate, because then you have leverage on them just as much as they do on you. But she gave me several numbers at which to reach her, both her office and extension as well as her direct number, which gave an air of legitimacy to the whole thing. This suddenly seemed like a real deal.

In any event, I called her back, walked through the consent paperwork and the payment – complete with a moment where, as I was in the middle of signing one form, the computer actually went through the shutdown process, leading me to wonder if they had sent a virus to me through the .pdf document (and during which she expressed alarm, but did not hang up, suggesting that this wasn’t an intentional act on their part) – and took care of the invoice. Theoretically, it’s paid, and I shouldn’t be getting a knock on the door from the sheriff’s department for this unpaid bill.

At the same time, I still think I’ve been had. This walked the line between a plausible expense and a scam – one that I couldn’t prove didn’t exist just because I had no record of it, because even if I kept records, would I be able to find it? It didn’t help when Lars called, asking for details about the folks (who had already long since left for Dad’s pacemaker appointment); he listened to my tale about the whole incident and seemed convinced that it wasn’t for real at all. But at that point, it was too late; I’d already made the payment.

Of course, I can rest assured that I’m not going to get any summons to appear in court over this; the question remains whether I would have if I’d ignored this. Was it worth it to pay this? I don’t know; maybe this can serve as a cautionary tale to someone reading over your shoulder. In any event, at least it’s behind me, and given the money I drop on relatively frivolous things, I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

Still, I appreciate your eye to keep on me, and maybe wish me a little bit of luck; I think I’m still going to need it.

P.S. The longer I think about it, the more I think I’ve fallen for a scam. Once upon a time, I would have been absolutely sick about this – especially given the amount of money involved. These days, I realize I’ve lost more money on bad investments – just today, Nikola (the electric truck company I’d taken a flyer on shortly before your accident, I think) finally declared bankruptcy; I think I lost at least twice the money on that as this. And let’s be honest; after losing you, what amount of money could be worse?

I’ll probably keep regular tabs on my credit card to make sure that no further transactions hit it, but aside from that, I think this is a lesson learned. Still, wish me a little wisdom yet, honey, as even my natural skepticism couldn’t save me here.