Dearest Rachel –
I often used to say, somewhat in jest (but not entirely) that when we got sick, the three of us would wind up dealing with the same amount of cold over different time periods. Whereas I would be essentially incapacitated for a 24-hour period, and Daniel would feel pretty poorly for a week or so, you always seemed to only be mildly inconvenienced, but it would last for a month, or even more. I don’t know how this came to be, or whether I was just weak and let the illness overwhelm me, whereas you were more willing to tough out your symptoms and claim they were nothing, only for them to cling to you for as long as you tried to deny them any significant hold.
As amusing as that used to be to conclude, things are changing in a puzzling manner. Either that, or the two of us who are left are simply regressing to the mean. The thing is, ever since I fell ill after coming home from the cruise – and thinking little of walking to the gym in sub-freezing (but not sub-zero) weather, which could not have done me any favors –I haven’t been able to shake whatever I’ve come down with. Oh, whatever symptoms I start out with in the morning (and it’s always worse in the morning, which is less than optimal, considering that I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that I am, in fact, a “morning person”) diminish to nearly nothing by the end of the day, and those symptoms have been growing noticeably fainter from one day to the next (although some have been decidedly weird and non-sequitur-like; yesterday, it felt like I was dealing with a toothache along the entirety of my upper jaw. Today? Not so much; a little pressure against my upper left jaw and sinus cavity), but I can still feel that I’m not at my best yet. In short, this has hung on to the point where I’m getting past Daniel’s usual duration in terms of colds.
It’s possible that this is because the external cold works on one’s internal cold, although that’s purely anecdotal speculation from a layman like myself. We talk about being “under the weather,” after all and while the weather hasn’t been oppressive in terms of, say, accumulation to shovel out from under, it’s still been pretty heavy-handed in terms of temperature – and will be for the foreseeable future, not rising out of the single digits until tomorrow, and only peeking above freezing once the next week (which is still a long way off) begins. If the cold aggravates one’s cold, I could see why I can’t seem to shake this thing. Between the external and internal, situations are such that one would not wish to get out and get on with the day.
Fortunately (thanks to you, and for which I can never thank you enough), I have the luxurious option to decide whether or not I want to do so; this no longer impacts my job performance and, consequently, my income. If I’m feeling less than my best, I can text the folks and tell them so, and they’re fine with me not showing up. In fact, given that Dad is going in tomorrow to have his pacemaker upgraded (I think originally it was just his battery running down, but since he’d have to be opened up for it anyway, they’re going to get a newer model installed), they’d prefer to have minimal exposure to other people’s microbes – they stayed home from church this past weekend because of this, which is a big deal for them. They’d be just as happy if I kept my distance when I’m not well.
To be sure, even at this hour, this isn’t the case for me today, apart from the fact that I’m not keen on braving the cold. Like I said, my symptoms are slowly (excruciatingly slowly, as far as I’m concerned) fading, and I’m constantly dealing with at least a part of me that, if it’s not up for actually exercising, at least wants to get out of the house by mid-afternoon. The trouble is, that first snap of cold air upon opening the front door is a solid dose of reality; it changes your mind in a hurry.
Most people, however, don’t have any choice but to brave the cold and wind – and I suppose, given our commitments (like last night at Sparks, for instance), we don’t completely, either. But we have a lot more latitude when it comes to that that most people. We can stay home if we feel the need, crank up the heat in the house, and not worry about whether we’ll have enough to pay for it all when the bill comes. It may not be what one thinks of when the word ‘luxury’ comes to mind – it’s not like the cruise ship or the fashion mall, by any means – but we’re aware that it’s a whole lot more than most people have, even those living around us, and we’re grateful for it.
Thank you, honey; I only wish you could be enjoying these opportunities yourself, but I don’t suppose you have to deal with cold – or colds – where you are, so I understand how you wouldn’t want to return and bother with it all. Still, if you could keep an eye on us and wish us luck all the same, it would be appreciated. After all, we’ll still need it.
Letters to Rachel 