Off Limits

Dearest Rachel –

There’s a good reason as to why, apart from my Royal Caribbean Asia-Pacific Tour shirt (which, to a certain extent, I’m reluctant to wear, because it just comes off as bragging), this is the only non-custom-designed T-shirt I’m wearing on this trip:

Let’s face it; everyone thinks they belong to this great union of introverts. Even obvious extroverts think of themselves as members, since they can always find somebody who they think of as being more extroverted than they are. It’s kind of like having money, in that sense, as there’s always someone richer, and unless there clearly isn’t, you think of yourself as “poor,” no matter how obviously false that self-image is (especially in a setting like this, but that’s beside the point). As a result, the slogan is universally funny and relatable in a way that I could only dream of being with the slogans I’ve thus far compiled and illustrated.

But the shirt is also appropriate for more personal reasons. Despite what I just said about everybody thinking they’re an introvert, I’m pretty sure I could declare myself to be one without any fear of contradiction. This, as you might suppose, throws a wrench into any thoughts of taking an opportunity – any opportunity – to approach someone who might be a potential ‘Megumi.’

You see, there are a lot of cute girls (and remember, the age at which I refer to someone as a “girl” goes up to fifty or so these days – as long as she clearly looks younger than me, she still qualifies, and that bar is getting easier to cross all the time) on this ship. And judging from Lars’ tales of being out late when I decided against it, there are that many more that I’m not even aware of yet.

You might expect that I should be able to find fertile ground for seeking out a possible partner in an environment like this. And perhaps someone else would, but not me.

Remember, honey, that cruise lines don’t generally book for single occupancy (although there’s been some chatter among the gang back home about looking into tour groups that specialize in such a clientele, since we all fall into that category one way or another). Unless you’re explicitly told otherwise by someone, you’re safer to assume that everyone is someone’s wife or girlfriend (and you’d hope that if one is the former, they ought to be the latter as well by default). Meanwhile, while every female is somebody’s daughter in the Big Picture, out here, a single female is likely to be here with her family; the trope of the protective dad (some would say overprotective, but I get where he’s coming from, despite the fact that “Liza Ayn” never became part of our little family). Bottom line? Don’t approach anyone; they’re almost guaranteed to be off limits.

You’d probably laugh and claim that I was being paranoid about all this. Every personal interaction carries with it a certain amount of risk; there are times when the potential reward ought to be well worth it; and you valued those rewards to such an extent as to hardly consider those risks when determining whether to deal with others. Which is odd, from my current perspective, considering that the payoff in my position could be that much greater, given what I’m looking for. None of your interactions with others carried the possibility of finding a life partner, as you already had one in me. So how is it that you were able to chance a conversation, with so much less at stake?

Of course, maybe the reward is the risk; having something to gain from a personal interaction means that one has something to lose if it goes poorly. Rather than run that risk, I’ve taken the ultimate introvert move of merely sitting on the sidelines, hoping that someone might come along and introduce themselves to me, rather than the other way around, as it’s supposedly supposed to be.

Ironically, even such an encounter isn’t sufficient, as I’d view anyone who approached me with a certain amount of suspicion. I imagine it was justified when that one girl sidled up to me when I was in Bangkok so long ago, but my first reaction is almost always that of how I responded to her appearance – “Are you trying to get me in trouble?” which she adamantly denied, but of course she would – rather than pleasant surprise and a cheerful greeting in return. It’s quite possible that, by assuming everyone is off limits to me, I render myself off limits to everyone else in turn. What do you think, honey?

In any event, there’s another day waiting to start, so might as well stop worrying about stuff like this, and get on with it. If I’m enjoying the day, I’m not sweating this stupid stuff and distracting myself from the real point of being here; getting away from the cold and just getting some relaxation in. To that end, then, keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.