For Me, It’s Just Tuesday

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

M. Bison (Raul Julia), Street Fighter (1994)

Dearest Rachel –

So this is it; the last day of 2024. Certain businesses (like my old office) are closed, while other places (like most restaurants) ramp up business (and prices to go along with it). It’s supposed to be a momentous day, where we reflect on the year gone by (which I won’t deny was a real doozy of a year) and plan what we intend to make of ourselves and our time in the year to come.

And what am I doing with it? Absolutely nothing. I’m even going so far as to head into the ‘office’ this morning; how about that? Back in the day, I couldn’t have been paid enough to come in on this day; now I go in without payment. Odds are, I’ll do the same tomorrow morning as well. What would Mohinder have thought?

Meanwhile, there’s no special celebration being planned at the house this evening, either. The girls won’t be over; ever since Ellen made it clear that she didn’t trust the drunks on the road on a day like tonight that’s notorious for it (although I suspect less so than it used to be), I knew we would always be hard-pressed to insist on any form of get-together on the night of December 31st. You brought your force of will to bear to ensure that it could still happen, but I don’t have that kind of strength of character… and so, everybody goes their separate ways – or, more accurately, they don’t go anywhere at all, at least as far as I know.

To be fair, it’s not as if there’s anything truly special about this day, apart from that one moment at the end of it where everything arbitrarily changes. One second, it’s still 2024; the next, it’s 2025. Nothing looks or feels different – and quite frankly, this time around, I expect to sleep through it, so those particular seconds will be both identical and ignored, as far as I’m concerned – but for legal purposes, it’s all different. It’s a necessary thing to mark the passage of time, but apart from that instantaneous flip of the switch, there’s nothing really unusual about today. So why treat it as if there was?

Now, if you want (or need, at least from your perspective) an excuse to stay home from work or go out and party, there’s no question that it’s as good as any. If you’re into crowds, the fact that the world has universally decided to make a big deal out of this moment actually makes this ideal; although, on the flip side, this means that finding a table at some joint (to say nothing of paying for it) is somewhere between impossible and exorbitant.

Although, for all your desire to get together with people (and that you enjoyed going out – even to the occasional nightclub – now and again), this was never one of the days for you to do so. New Year’s was either spent with your parents (on those off years when we did Christmas with my parents) or at home, with the girls and/or Kevin coming over to play board games and watch the ball drop in Times Square, at which point you would make a point to circle around to me and get your first kiss of the New Year from me, as tradition demanded.

I have to confess, there were some years when I might have seemed reluctant about that last little ceremony, honey. Maybe it’s just the fact that we were usually the sole couple in our little group (although when we were down in Macomb, your folks would give each other a little peck, which was as nothing compared to what you were expecting from me), and it felt a little odd to be the only ones performing the ritual. It was like rubbing everyone else’s nose in the fact that “hey, I have a partner to do this with and you all don’t, nyeh-nyeh!” and feels even more so now that I’m just like them in that department (although unlike them, it actually bothers me that I don’t have a partner).

But there were times when the very ritual nature of the act made it feel like an obligation, if a momentary one. I realize your love came from the bottom of your heart, and was perfectly meaningful, but in the moment, it could feel mildly forced in response. However, after so long without, even a perfunctory version would be welcome, if I thought it came from someone who meant it like you did.

But all that is a non-issue for today, just as it has been for several years. Nothing special is going to come of this day, and as such, there’s no point in treating it any differently than any other workday. And in any event, there’s plenty of ‘work’ for me to take care of, even if little of it has any urgent deadline attached to it; it’s best to get it taken care of as much as possible. Not to mention, it so happens that Logan is having to work as well (albeit from his room, but still), while Daniel has the same podcasts he listens to every Tuesday. Best to get out of the house, if only for a few hours, and get a few last things done before it’s 2025… not that that changes anything.

Still, if you would keep an eye on me for the remainder of the year, and wish me luck, I’d sure appreciate it; after all, I’m pretty sure I’ll need it.