Dearest Rachel –
I sometimes wonder what little things I might say or do will happen to resonate with someone, without me ever knowing it. To be sure, everybody makes offhand comments from time to time; sometimes, one of them lands in an onlooker’s mind, and stays there for the rest of their lives. By that, I mean in the onlooker’s mind, of course; all too often, whatever the speaker has said has disappeared from the speaker’s mind at very nearly the moment the words left their lips. If it should happen that the onlooker and speaker ever encounter each other later and the moment be discussed, the one will remember everything vividly, while the other will barely recall a thing about it, despite being the one performing the action or reciting the lines of the scene, as opposed to simply viewing it as part of the audience. It’s possible that, in the process of acting or speaking, it all becomes part of a whole – one bit of character business in the day’s script, as it were – so individual segments don’t grab the attention in a way they might to someone absorbing it all on a moment-by-moment basis. I couldn’t say.
Not that I haven’t been in the shoes of an ‘audience member,’ if you’ll permit me to extend this analogy a little further. They’re rarer these days, now that I’m as likely to be the one listened to as the one listening – which means that I’m not probably paying as much attention to what I say and do as I ought; at least, not in the moment. Then again, I can’t recall off the top of my head any unintentional pearls of wisdom that I still carry with me from those moments, either, so maybe it’s a moot point.
In any event, my mind’s eye can paint the numerous occasions of being in this or that restaurant with one or both of my parents; and while it felt somewhat routine – my folks, in particular, made going out to eat every Sunday after church a regular thing, even during the toughest times, financially speaking (some of those remembered scenes involved a McDonalds off Rand Road that no longer exists – or, more to the point, has been relocated to the opposite side of the road, and its original location replaced by a Chick-fil-A) – the scene was enough that my mind took a snapshot or a clip of the moment and filed it away in the core, rather than disposing of it altogether. And every so often, the neurons running through my brain will encounter it and share it among themselves; “hey, remember this event? Good times, huh?”
I wonder if Daniel will consider yesterday’s trip to be a moment like that, or if it will be discarded into the memory hole.
One would think it would last longer in his mind than most, as it revolved around an event that only happens quadrennially. Sure, there are off-year elections, and even in presidential years such as ours, we have to undergo the primaries as well as the general event, but yesterday, for us, was that general event. Moreover, we made a point of walking to the courthouse, which we could do, as it isn’t that far away from our house (as you know) – and since the restaurant Daniel wanted to go to (a rare occurrence in its own right) was just a little ways beyond it on the same road, we decided to go there on foot as a continuation of our entire outing. The result of which being that Daniel got in as many steps yesterday as I do when I’m actually trying to get some exercise. If nothing else, I would think that he’d remember it for that much.
On the other hand, while I’ll tolerate the place and its offerings, I’m not the biggest fan of it. Between the fact that everything on the menu is fried – meaning high in calories, which I could live with if it were something I thought I would enjoy – while also being thoroughly spiced – their top-of-the-line item requires the customer to sign a waiver before being allowed to purchase; how do you enjoy eating something that painful? – I just couldn’t countenance getting anything on their menu this time around. That couldn’t have set well with Daniel, to be eating while I decided not to; he apologized several times throughout his meal, even as I trying to assure him that I was fine with this arrangement.
Of course, the place proved to be a disappointment to him in another respect; apparently, this location (unlike the one we usually go to near church) didn’t offer boba tea – and with chicken this spicy, even on their lower-end offerings, one needs something to drink. So this might have been memorable for him (and not in a particularly good way) because of that. I did make a point of stopping by our ‘original’ location on our way to Sparks last night, though, so hopefully that was mitigated somewhat. Whether any of that will stick in his mind going forward, I couldn’t say, but the rare circumstances behind it all might actually do that. Who’s to say?
In any event, life goes on, whether we remember these moments or not. At least, by writing these things down for you as they happen, I might have a better chance of doing so – whether they’re worth it or not. Until the next such moment, keep an eye on us, and wish us luck, honey… we’re going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 