Just As Well, I Guess

Dearest Rachel –

While I did manage to get to the gym yesterday morning, I got a late start on the day, and still wasn’t feeling my best, so I didn’t put in the same level (or time) of workout that I’ve been doing pretty regularly over the past few weeks. I’ve also gone back to taking omeprazole to deal with the stomach upset that the weekend’s fasting seems to have brought on, but that couldn’t ameliorate the dull aches in my back or head.

And as the day wore on, I was starting to feel a bit chilly. To be sure, the basement at the folks’ place is cool to the point of being almost cave-like, which is kind of nice on a hot summer day, but I was feeling much colder than that, to the point of discomfort. I was starting to wonder if I wasn’t actually dealing with a cold, as opposed to the effects of fasting (although it’s still possible that, by doing that, I rendered myself more vulnerable to it taking root in the first place).

In short, I wasn’t going to be at my best for my date last evening. Oh, I could probably hide the worst of it, as she wouldn’t have a benchmark to know what I’m like when I’m fully healthy; if a second date were to happen, she might be pleasantly surprised. But I’d have to get through this one first, and make a sufficiently decent impression for her to want a second look at me… which had me starting to wonder a bit as to whether I could pull that off. And of course, I’d already been thrown off by your appearance in my dreams the night before, and what it could mean.

But with only a couple of hours before I was to close up shop at the ‘office,’ there was a quick buzz on my phone. I didn’t notice it at first, since I still get between a dozen and a score of spam calls during any given weekday (it’s much better than it used to be, but it’s still more than a mere nuisance). But I noticed that she had been the one to call me, and by the time I reached for the phone, she had hung up, without so much as leaving a message. I decided to call her back right away, but for whatever reason, she wasn’t answering her phone, so it was up to me to leave a message, and ask if there was something going on.

And there was, as it so happened. Evidently, something had come up with her daughter that she needed to attend to, so tonight was a washout. Moreover, she was going to be out of town for the next week or so; would it be okay to reschedule?

As much as I was disappointed by her cancelling on me, at least she did me the courtesy of letting me know, as well as offering the option of rescheduling – which we haven’t done yet, by the way; I did text her back, and ask what day and time would be best for her, and have yet to receive a response. For all I know, she may be busy attending to her daughter, and can’t answer just now. And as there’s nothing I can do at this point, I’m not going to worry about it.

All I could do at that point was to drive myself home, admit to Daniel that I wasn’t doing anything after all – when I left for the day, I informed him that I wouldn’t be home until late because of this date, and he didn’t really react well to it. Not so much because his old man was dating, so much, as he was suspicious of the fact that I’d met this woman online; he’s watched me, and seen my track record with online dating services, so I can’t say that I blame him for that. The fact that I’d talked to her for nearly an hour on Sunday over the phone doesn’t seem to have changed his attitude about that. So I wasn’t exactly looking forward to the possibility that he might be able to hold an “I told you so” over my head.

The good news, if you could call it that, was that first of all, when I arrived home, he was asleep in his recliner, so my unexpectedly early return went unnoticed by him. And by the time he’d woken up and realized I was home, I was wrapped in a terry-cloth robe and noshing on a cup of soup (well, chili, actually, but close enough; either way, it’s comfort food that fills one up and settles one down while nursing one’s way through a spot of being under the weather), looking rather like the semi-invalid I felt like I was. It was enough to preclude him from any gloating about his skepticism regarding online dating being right yet again.

That didn’t mean the subject didn’t come up; he asked if I wasn’t planning on going out, and if so, what time I would be doing so. I responded by explaining about her calling the evening off – or at least, postponing it – and gesturing to my chili as indication that I was not going anywhere at this point in the evening. I was too ill to give him a snarky response, and he was too taken aback by my appearance to make any hay out of being right. So not only was it just as well that things didn’t go according to plan – thereby causing me to try to sell myself when I was clearly not at my best – this same illness allowed for a reasonable detente between the two of us on a topic that could have been contentious were it not for my obvious infirmity.

Even this morning, with the worst of it behind me, I’m still not at full strength. And while I’m basically ambulatory at this point, I’m still dealing with a few vestiges of this… whatever-it-was, be it a cold, or a 24-hour flu (I never bothered to take my temperature, so I really don’t know if I had that) or something else. And one good thing is that I seem to have finally broken through the 220 barrier, and stayed under (or at; I did weight myself before going to bed, which I’m told I really shouldn’t do, but still was at that level, if not under it) for the past two days straight. Of course, once I get my health – and presumably, my appetite – back, who knows what will happen. But it was probably just as well, I guess, that I didn’t go out last night.

I do hope there will be another chance, though.

Still, if you can keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck, I’d appreciate it. It looks like I’m going to need it.