from Rachel: If the Lord Had Not

Don’t think for a moment He is inattentive as you throw open your Bible and seek to hear His voice amid so many voices competing for your attention.

Our help is in the name of the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth /  God’s strong name is our help, the same God who made heaven and earth.

List the metaphors in the left column. When you’ve finished your list, look up the scriptures in the right hand column, and [connect] each metaphor to the one it reflects in Psalm 124.

“attacked and swallowed alive” (Psalm 57:4)
“engulfed by raging waters” (Psalm 18:16-17)
“ripped apart by teeth” (Psalm 57:4)
“caught in a net like a bird” (Psalm 55:6-8)

When was the last time you felt like someone or something was going to eat you alive? Describe the situation without using any names.

“I can’t think of any time when I have felt that threatened by any person and hardly ever by circumstances. When I was five, I had a pool incident and when I was three, we were second in a four-car collision and the car behind us erupted in flames.”

When was the last time you felt like a situation was honestly going to drown you?

“Literally, the pool incident. I was scared of the deep end and every Friday we nonswimmers would play in the shallow end, then at the end of the pool time the teachers would give us a ride through the deeper water on a tractor inner tube. One week this new student teacher “missed the memo” and decided to horse around and dump us off. I thought I would drown! Somebody fished us all out and the new guy had several traumatized kindergartners to apologize to.
“(Figuratively, lots of times, maybe when frantically cleaning up for a visit from my parents, or maybe the time I mentioned a few days ago when the van and heater repairs were all jumbled with a piano lesson I didn’t mention)”

Have you ever felt like another person despised you? “no” If so, describe some of your feelings when you first realized it.

“I guess the thought has crossed my mind, but I can usually find a logical explanation for their attitudes and behaviors. When I first feel the idea, it makes my stomach drop/that sinking feeling. I also feel confused and shaken up.”

Sanguine to the bone, only on rare occasion do I fight a strong feeling of dislike for someone. 

Satan hates us because God loves us. He also hates us because we remind him of the position he lost. He was an anointed cherub. We are anointed children. He lost his place in heaven. Through Christ, we gained a place in heaven. Perhaps above all, Satan hatefully attacks us because he can’t touch God. The closest he can come to hurting God is to hurt one of His children. Zachariah 2:8 says whoever touches one of God‘s children touches the apple of His eye. God will overlook an attack against you about as readily as He would overlook someone repeatedly poking Him in the eye 

When you feel attacked, how convinced are you that God is taking it personally and that you can trust Him to handle it as you seek and submit to Him?

[8 on a scale from completely unconvinced to completely convinced] “I know it better than I show it (by fully letting go of it)”

Describe one time you were most aware of Satan’s harmful intent.

“Personally, maybe my car crash on the way to Women’s Joy Club. In general, though, that Sunday morning a few weeks ago comes to mind: Vernon’s fall and bad cut, Teri’s seizure, and Sara’s car wreck.”

As much as your enemy may have stolen from you, think of something you believe in retrospect he wanted that he didn’t get.

“He wanted to prevent us from worshiping God. (Actually, with Vernon, he did get it that day, but not permanently.)”

Dearest Rachel –

This is one of those moments when I find myself reading your words like I’m staring at a photograph with a person or two that I recognize, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out who the other people are in the picture. I know who you’re referring to by Vernon – he was one of the last charter members of the church, and I think he collapsed during a service at one point some years ago, but recovered (as you make clear) in hospital – but who Sara and Teri are, I’ve no idea. Well, not entirely – Sara might be your cousin, who was always getting into scrapes of one sort or another, but I couldn’t prove this is who you’re referring to; we knew other Saras, too – but there was only one Vernon we knew well, and he was it.

Granted, the other thing I remember him for was the fact that, in congregational meetings, whenever there was a vote on a measure, he would always vote to abstain. I don’t know why; maybe he didn’t want any vote to be unanimous, as if the congregation was a rubber stamp for the pastor or the elder board. But it did make him look cantankerous, like he was being obstinate for obstinacy’s sake. I mean, why take the trouble to vote, if you’re going to abstain? You could just as easily abstain by not voting. It got to be a running joke, to the point that, years after his passing this is the one thing I still remember about him. I know I was peripheral in terms of the people he surrounded himself with, so my opinion of him would have been of little concern (and it’s not as if you can completely control what other people think of you, anyway), but what a legacy to leave behind in my mind!

Meanwhile, it’s weird how I can’t recall the story you tell here about the near-drowning incident (although I’m sure you or your folks told it to me once or twice back in the day), but the one about the car crash you and your mom were in I can remember vividly. Why, I even remember the nickname your family gave to the car (“Sweet Fawn,” because of its light brown color inside and out) that was totaled in the wreck; your family often gave such names to your vehicles, for some reason or another. We carried on the tradition by naming my first couple of cars, but after the old diesel Mercedes we called “Rocinante” (after Don Quixote’s broken-down horse), I don’t think we bothered anymore. You might be able to refresh my memory, but in your absence, none come to mind after that.

But I’ve wandered pretty far afield from the topic, haven’t I? Like you, I don’t know of many people who despise me; it’s not like folks will come up to you and tell you such things to your face, after all. People generally seethe at each other in private, or anonymously; the internet has allowed a lot of that animosity to bubble to the surface, but not in such a way where word gets back to the object of their hatred – at least, not usually. There are people I’ve met who are civil in person, but raging beasts online, and when I think about how they hate people who disagree with them, I’m glad I’ve never discussed the touchy subject around them.

Do I realize how God views an attack on His children? Intellectually, yes; personally, I’m not sure. It’s hard to balance between this concept and the fact that “in this world, [we] will have trouble.” God is not supposed to shield us from harm and opprobrium at all times; in fact, if He did, we would become soft and unusable for certain of His purposes for us. At the same time, when that trouble comes, is He offended by it? I suppose; I’m never quite sure how much He causes (in order to test us) and how much He simply allows (since there’s trouble enough in a fallen world, perhaps He doesn’t need to cause anything to happen to us).

You would think that, if it bothers Him so, He would step in and intervene more often. Then again, who knows how much has not happened that could have that His intervention has prevented?