Declaring You

Dearest Rachel –

I know I was just telling you the other day about the hoops I had to jump through whenever I got off the ship in Indonesia. Not that they were particularly inconvenient, mind you; it was just that the instructions themselves weren’t complete, as far as I could understand them.

But as we’re approaching our next destination country, we have a new set of house rules to deal with. Given what the entire world has had to deal with over the past three, four years, it probably shouldn’t be a surprise that health issues remain top of mind. While vaccination cards aren’t a requirement in the Philippines, certain other health checks need to be made before we’re allowed ashore; and note that we’re still a good 48 hours away from landing there.

I just got through with going through a thermal screening process, along with literally everyone else on the ship. Again, it’s not a particularly difficult process, apart from everybody having to get down to the dining room, walk past this scanner (without glasses on, mind you – I don’t know what’s about that, but it seems less than safe for someone as blind as I am), all at pretty much the same time. I don’t need to tell you about the foot traffic involved; thank heavens that, for once, I was hanging around outside the (closed) wine bar on the sixth deck when the announcement came down, so I was one of the first ones through, before it really got chaotic.

Of course, I don’t blame them for not wanting someone who’s sick entering their country and becoming a potential vector for illness. But I don’t mind telling you that I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when, as I’m filling out my declaration form, the following question appears:

Admittedly, since, like with Indonesia, the Philippines isn’t a country that I necessarily had my heart set on visiting. While it may seem like a waste of time (and money, since I signed of for this and that shore excursion in each port we’re stopping) to be trapped on the ship rather than going ashore, it wouldn’t break my heart; at least, no more so than my abortive trip down the Rhine from Basel to Amsterdam. If this were Japan, for instance, I’d have more of a problem, but here? Not quite so much. It’d be more of a nuisance than an actual heartbreak. My apologies to any Filipino friends reading this over your shoulder, honey; I freely admit to having favorites in terms of destinations, even as I am fully open to being pleasantly surprised by locations I never expected to impress me. But if the Philippines don’t want that opportunity to do so, that’s no skin off my nose.

Ironically, this very nonchalant attitude probably allowed me the freedom to answer in all honesty. If they rejected me for having had a cold last week, it was no big deal; I’d just go through whatever hoops I needed to in order to refund myself for the shore excursions I’d paid for, and leave it at that. I wasn’t so insistent that “I’ve gotta go to the Philippines!” that I was going to try and sneak ashore if they had issues about it. And, equally ironic, it turned out to be no big deal. They just wanted to know what sort of symptoms I’d been experiencing, and when I selected the one associated with having a cold, they promptly sent me a QR code indicating I was still approved to come ashore. Go figure; honesty is the best policy, it would seem.

However, there was another issue that I had to deal with, this time on the customs declaration form:

Since I had already surrendered my man card by asking for instructions on our last few ports of call, I figured I was in for a few more pounds this time around as well, and made my way down to Guest Services yet again, this time quite literally with you in hand. Adnaan was respectful and polite, but when he inquired as to whether I’d declared you upon embarking when I got aboard in L.A. – and, since I don’t recall having seen anything about ‘cremains’ on any customs documents before, I had to admit I hadn’t – he suggested I check ‘no,’ and not bring you ashore at all. If I wanted to scatter you in Philippine waters, it would have to be outside of the twelve-mile limit (at which point, ironically, it wouldn’t be Philippine waters at all; even more ironically, it would probably be in waters claimed by China, who seem to claim – and have a problem with – everything).

So, as much as I hate to have to do so, it looks like I’m going to have to forgo scattering you in the Philippines. It has been suggested to me, that, if I can get a copy of your death certificate, the Quarantine Board might not have a problem with it – and I may just ask Daniel to send me a picture and see how that goes. But, just like myself, I suspect that, if you were forbidden from being allowed into Philippine space, it wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to you. We could deal with it; if they don’t want you here, that’s their problem.

Anyway, that’s what’s going on here, honey. I’ll let you know if the situation resolves in one direction or the other, but for now, just keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.