When did you last try to break a stronghold in your own strength and end up feeling powerless and totally defeated?
“I suppose it was in October 2008 when I tried to clean up because my parents were coming, or November when I tried to keep it looking nice.”
Think about a stronghold you’ve experienced. What part did insecurity play?
“I like my stuff. I like knowing where it is and that it is readily accessible. I guess there’s insecurity in my stuff being hidden away where I might forget to look for it or where to look for it. Worse yet the fear I might again want, or need something I gave away or threw away.”
Satan persists where a stronghold exists.
Can you think of an excuse or rationalization that no longer has power over you?
“Not really, I’m still bad about buying into them. I suppose maybe the ‘I’ll put it away to tomorrow’ excuse. I know full well I won’t, so there’s no point even trying that one.”
• Every stronghold is related to something we have exalted to a higher position than God in our lives.
• Every stronghold pretends to bring something we feel we must have: aid, comfort, the relief of stress, or protection.
• Every stronghold in the life of a believer is a tremendous source of pride for the enemy. Let that make you mad, and determine to stop giving him satisfaction.
What role has pride played in one of your strongholds?
“Pride makes me feel uncomfortable admitting the magnitude of my problem.”
How does God desire to lead His children?
“‘with cords of human kindness,’ and ‘with ties of love’”
What will He do if we will follow His leadership?
“lift the yoke from our necks
“bend down and feed us”
Dearest Rachel –
It’s weird to read these things from such a remove of time, and realize what an internal struggle you had with hanging onto stuff and the mess it made in our lives. You didn’t appear to be bothered by it (and if ever I was to needle you about it, it was the nagging that seemed to annoy you more than the mess itself, so I eventually let go of that), but underneath the surface, I guess it really did get to you at times. I don’t have a lot of regrets about our relationship, but I regret not realizing what you were going through and helping you through it somehow; although maybe, the fact that you hid this distress from me meant that you didn’t want the help badly enough, so… yeah.
The strangeness of it all is probably compounded by the fact that I’ve since gotten used to a much tidier place (albeit with the professional help that you couldn’t bring yourself to call upon) such that I can barely remember how things looked once upon a time – even the ‘after’ pictures from that 2008 frenzy of cleaning barely match what those rooms like at any given moment now.
Granted, that’s partly due to the fact that there is one less person’s stuff to crowd the place up with…
It seems strange to consider that to be the ‘stronghold’ in which Satan took residence within you. But maybe it’s not all that farfetched; the rich young ruler wasn’t ready to let go of his stuff, either, when Jesus told him that’s what he needed to do to gain eternal life. Of course, part of His point was to show that no one could do enough to ‘earn’ heaven in the first place (which went against the cultural belief at the time that material blessings were a sign of spiritual favor from God – yes, the Jews had their own version of the ‘prosperity gospel,’ and it was no more correct than the so-called Christian ones in circulation today), but it was a legitimate request as well, since nothing we have in life can be kept for eternity. Hearses don’t come with trailer hitches, after all – and most of the pharaohs were robbed blind, and were none the wiser for it.
To be sure, this clutter wasn’t keeping you from salvation, but you recognized that it could get in the way of your walk with God. I wonder how you’re doing now; I assume you don’t miss any of the stuff you left behind – or maybe, like in C. S. Lewis’ take at the end of the Narnian chronicles, “no good thing is destroyed”; perhaps those ‘good things’ are there with you to be enjoyed in a purer way than they could have been down here. Who’s to say?
I wish I could hear from you about the subject.
Actually, I just wish I could hear from you at all.
Letters to Rachel 