The Hero’s Journey

Dearest Rachel –

So, while I thought I had a moderately interesting real life story to tell you about from yesterday, I woke up this morning, knowing that I had to put it on hold, because what I saw last night just had to be told (before I forget it).

Let’s start with the fact that it was a BBC broadcast, hosted by, of all people, Matt Smith and David Tennant – the two Doctor Who actors who seem to have the best rapport since John Pertwee and Patrick Troughton. So, obviously, this was meant to draw a fair amount of British eyes. I’m going to guess that this was set at some amusement park somewhere in Great Britain – Brighton, perhaps? The scene opened up to the two of them walking together, somewhat energetically, down a long flight of stairs. As they did, so, they were talking about this brand new roller coaster attraction that they were headed towards, entitled “The Hero’s Journey”; describing to the camera what little they seemed to know about it, and bantering back-and-forth like mates as to which of them would chicken out first.

While I don’t remember much of what they said to each other (or us as the viewers), once they got to the bottom of this long series of stairwells, they came to the entrance of the ride, which had a two-person capsule on your bog-standard roller coaster, on a track emerging from a pitch black tunnel (which stands to reason, being underground as they were). The two of them, after a little more “after you” banter, got into the capsule, whereupon the camera shifted to their perspective, showing that they two were headed into pitch darkness in just a few feet, once they were properly sealed into the capsule. The lid came down, as if it were an automated seatbelt, except that it covered them entirely; there was a brief cut to the outside of the capsule, showing this fact as well as watching it, as it began to move into the tunnel in front of them.

At this point, the camera’s eye cut to within the capsule again, where cameras were apparently mounted so as to see both the actors’ perspective – as the capsule lid had a plexiglass window, allowing them (and us) to see what they were supposedly riding through – as well as facing them in order to get their reactions to the ride itself. There were the typical noises of the ascent, combined with a proper Dutch angle, to give the viewer a sense of riding up a great height along with them, followed by a moment of teetering equilibrium as they reached the top, and were suspended there for just a moment, before plunging at seemingly breakneck speeds into the abyss, which they both acknowledged looked very much like the time vortexes their individual TARDISes would careen through on the show. However, unlike the show, they found themselves having to admit to each other that they were not in control of this particular ride – although each of them would needle the other about the fact that they weren’t in control of their TARDIS any more than this thing. You could see them jerk around, and how their hair would fly in crazy directions as they spun from side-to-side and upside-down, all at what looked to be blazing speed.

I honestly don’t recall what precisely they saw as they sped through various scenes for a good several minutes, suggesting a ride of dozens of miles long. Both the darkness and the speed of the ride itself made it rather difficult to ascertain what was going on around them, to be honest – which was probably the point, as you’ll discover in a moment. Our two heroes were jerked around this way and that throughout the course of it, displaying a range of emotions that ran the gamut from exhilarated to terrified. Obviously, the whole point was to show what an experience this new ride was supposed to be.

Finally, the lid of the capsule was raised as they came to a stop, and the two of them got out, both enthusing about the trip they had just taken, and how long it must’ve been, both in terms of the length of track as well as the difficulty of building something like this underground. At this point, a third host’s voice chimed in, asking them if they wanted to see the inner workings of the ride, to which they responded with vigorous affirmation.

That’s when the entire subterranean chamber was filled with blazing light, to reveal that once each capsule left the initial station and entered the tunnel, it was merely picked up by one of a series of robots, and twisted around in various ways, all while lights and sounds were being broadcast into each individual capsule to simulate the effects of riding a proper roller coaster. The two of them were both stunned to realize how completely taken in they’d been.

The crazy thing is, honey, this technology exists already. You and I have seen malls offering a ride in which a robot arm will pick up a two- or four-seat capsule and pitch it around in various ways as a compact form of thrill ride. But I don’t recall seeing anything like this, where it’s sold as if it were an actual roller coaster – and it would be so easy to do, too! I mean, there was that one we rode years ago that was based off of a Star Wars flyer; but the whole idea of being in such a fictional vehicle added an extra layer to the illusion that made it that much more difficult to suspend one’s disbelief. Why bother with that much backstory, when you could absolutely convince people they were riding around in the Stygian darkness of a mountain (or a mine), all while doing so in a space of only a few dozen cubic meters per pair of riders? Indeed, this could just as easily be set in the long-abandoned Aldwych tube station, right in the heart of the City, if someone wanted to do so (and all the proper permissions were filed), as opposed to some actual amusement park.

So yeah, that was what I woke up to this morning, honey. Hope you liked it; I know that whatever you have over there probably makes anything we could come up with on this side look puny and small, but hey, we can run with puny and small just as easily, now, can’t we?

Anyway, I’ll get to the story – and apology – about the garbage another time. Until then, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.