from Rachel: To Be Beautiful

List the four girlish dreams in our lesson yesterday. Place a check beside each of the dreams you remember having as a little girl.

1. “to be a bride
2. “to be beautiful √
3. “to be fruitful
4. “to live happily ever after √”

“As a child I knew other children who couldn’t wait to grow up and were constantly playing at it. I didn’t get on well with them. My favorite themes always seem to be orphaned children getting adopted well and lost people getting rescued or finding each other, (Actually rather deep allegorically, as I think about it)”

Often those who say they never wanted those things fell victim at an early age to a negative influence, distorting their dreams.

Unless we find our identity in Christ, we are just as prone to appearance insecurities as unbelievers.

Think about a season of your life when you struggled with feelings of unattractiveness, whether or not your feelings were accurate. When was it? What influential variables in your life at the time added to your feelings of unattractiveness?

“On and off throughout my short-haired childhood, especially upon being mistaken for a boy by other parents, or teased by classmates once for greasiness (when I hadn’t had time to wash it)”

Read Song of Songs 2 and 4. List every term of endearment (not figurative descriptions) the Lover gives His Beloved Bride (i.e., “my darling”)

“2: my darling, my lover, my beautiful one
“4: my darling, my bride, my sister, my lover”

Write every phrase that uses the word beautiful in both chapters and identify the Scripture reference.

“my beautiful one – 2:10 & 2:13
“how beautiful you are – 4:1
“how beautiful – 4:1
“all beautiful you are – 4:7”

We missed one of Solomon’s most visual comparisons. It’s in 1:9. To what did he compare his beloved? “a horse”

What is far more profound than a man and woman coming together in marriage? “The way it somehow represents Christ and His bride the church”

If you begin to allow Christ to become your mirror, do you think you’d stop taking care of yourself? “No

“I still want to look beautiful for Him (as I do for Randy)”

Who is someone you are absolutely certain loves you? “Randy” What are a few ways you know?

“He tells me so all the time. He kisses and hugs me. He desires intimacy with me. He looks at me lovingly.”

On this earth, He became like us, but what does 1 John 3:2 tell us we’ll become when we see Christ? “like Christ”

Read Song of Songs 5:10-16. In the eyes of His beloved, which will be you, how will Christ look?

“I suppose the description is indicating a rugged sturdiness, combined with a perfection of handsomeness, but some of the metaphors don’t sound pleasant at all to me, especially lips dripping with myrrh”

Compare Exodus 33:18-23 to Song of Songs 2:14. What do these two passages have in common? What is different in the two passages?

“Both involve someone hiding his or her face in the cleft of a rock on the side of a mountain; however, in Exodus, God put Moses there, and told him to hide for his own safety, while in Song of Songs, Christ calls us out so we can meet face-to-face.”

One of the grandest miracles of having a wonderful, fulfilling relationship with Christ now instead of waiting until heaven is the stress Christ relieves from other relationships… Christ takes up the slack in imperfect relationships and reminds us, that the ideal partnership is ahead.

“Wisdom “brightens” man’s face and changes its “hard” appearance”

Dearest Rachel –

Since these study notes rarely have anything to do with me or our relationship, I don’t expect to find myself name-checked in your answers, but I have to confess to a certain level of gratification when it happens; is that narcissistic of me?

I have often said that one particular good thing about our relationship in conjunction with your departure was that there were no regrets about it. There was nothing left unsaid between the two of us; you knew I loved you and vice versa, and I didn’t have to concern myself with whether I’d told you enough. But I will say that it’s always reassuring to see it from you in writing, especially in something like this that was never meant for my eyes to see.

At the same time, when you talk about wanting to keep yourself beautiful for both God and myself, I do have a certain amount of regret about what I’m currently putting myself through. This whole exercise and weight loss thing is to attract a woman who I don’t know; I can’t even confirm that she exists. And it never occurred to me to do this for your sake (although in fairness, it never crossed my mind that I could accomplish as much as I have thus far. Not to mention that some of the things I put myself through – like this weekend fasting routine – would likely get in the way of how we lived and interacted with each other). So I guess there are a few regrets after the fact, after all.

I’m not sure what to make of the stories you used to fantasize about as a child – you’re right that they have a certain depth to them, and maybe I ought to go over that at some point in the future – but I have to admit to being struck by your notes suggesting that you never dreamed of yourself being a bride, of having someone think you were the most beautiful thing in his life, and you got it anyway. It’s also interesting that, among your efforts to continue that, you grew your hair out at my encouragement; it seems that your near-trademark pixie cut (which was imposed on you by a mother who resented her mother insisting that she wear it long throughout her childhood, and wanted to spare you that ‘hell’) posed its own set of conflicts with your own dreams of being ‘beautiful.’ Of course, you managed to reach a sort of middle ground on this particular subject, cutting your hair short as the summer began to make itself felt, and letting it grow throughout the year thereafter as the year grew colder, thereby varying your beauty with the seasons of life.

But of course, the true beauty lies within, which I expect is what God sees – and creates – in us. I do wonder what sort of beauty your new body reflects; I wish I could see it, honey.