Ignoring the Thunder

Dearest Rachel –

King Solomon wrote about how there would be days like this as he grew older; how he would “rise at the sound of a bird,” even as he could barely hear “the daughters of song.” This morning started with what sounded to me like the noise of movers on the roof, rolling a dolly laden with stuff out to their van in front of the house. But of course, our bedroom roof, while flat enough for someone to do just that, has no point of entry or exit from the upstairs portion of the house; essentially, my mind was promptly telling my ears that “you’re not hearing what you think you’re hearing, guys.”

Indeed, a second such rumble followed shortly thereafter, along with that of rain cascading on the roof. What mover in the world would be packing up in the middle of such a rainstorm – and at five-thirty in the morning, no less? I kid; there were no movers. It was just the rain. And as much as I appreciate its courtesy in generally falling at night when it’s shown up this summer, I had no desire to get up and face it at such an hour, let alone go out in it (as if I needed to). So, I put on my sleep mask (as, despite the storm and the clouds that accompanied it obscuring the sun, it was starting to grow light throughout the room), and attempted to doze off again.

And, almost to my surprise, I succeeded.

I did wake yet again to the sound of cascading water, but this time, it was coming from the shower upstairs. Evidently, Logan was getting himself ready for the workday, and would be out of the house within the half-hour or so. There would be no point in my getting up and doing likewise – I think the hot water heater is robust enough to deal with two showers running simultaneously, but why chance it when it’s not necessary? – so I managed to once again roll over and catch a few more winks.

And as a result, my morning started considerably later than it usually would, all because I was better than I expected to be when it came to ignoring the thunder.

***

There’s a certain part of me that wants to berate the rest of me for having done so. In his part of my mind, you’re not supposed to ignore anything; I think he’s the part of me that causes me to answer my phone every time it rings, despite the fact that I have Caller ID (but doesn’t everyone these days?) and can see when I’m receiving a ‘Potential Spam’ or ‘Potential Scam’ call (not sure how and why it differentiates). Daniel often asks me why I answer them regardless, and I suppose that could be a whole other letter to you someday, when I really get tired of dealing with them. For now, I’m going to assume this is that part of my superego, insisting that every bit of external stimulus deserves a response.

But it’s one thing to deal with a person on the other end of a phone call, and a literal force of nature. It’s not as if the storm is going to be offended if I ignore it. And in any event, what exactly would be a suitable response? It’s not as if there’s anywhere in the house that the rain is leaking in. Sure, we have water spots on the ceiling in various places, but what leaks provoked them have long since been dealt with, and while there are rooms that need repainting (to say nothing of recarpeting and all sorts of other work), I’m not ready to move heaven and earth to deal with them. Especially not in the middle of a rainstorm; if movers wouldn’t be likely to be working like that in this weather, how much less myself?

This isn’t a situation where everything is collapsing around me, and I’m just ignoring the catastrophe until presumably it consumes and destroys me…

No, I live in a sturdily-built shelter, where I don’t need to fear the rain and thunder as it beats against the place. We’ll survive this – even welcome it, as the ground could always use a little more refreshment during the heat of summer, if only to keep the grass green. And we really will be fine.

I suppose it could be argued that constantly going back to sleep isn’t necessarily the most prudent of life choices, but it isn’t as if it’s a lifestyle for me. Indeed, I couldn’t make it so if I wanted to. This is unusual for me; I don’t see any particular reason to feel all that guilty about it.

And yet, I do.

Well, I’ll probably perform enough penance throughout the rest of the day to make up for it. I’m already in shorts and gym shoes, in order to stop in at the fitness center for an hour or so. I’ve also got plans to do some shopping after I’m done and cleaned up from all that, too, so it’s not as if I’m going to be completely indolent.

But with that being said, keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.