Rough Start

Dearest Rachel –

These conventions don’t always start out grey and rainy, but it’s certainly a risk we run during the spring. When I started to fill the car, it was just sprinkling (which was more than nuisance enough), but by the time the boys were awake, it was pretty much pouring down rain. It’s the kind of weather that leaves one questioning why one keeps doing this.

Then again, Otaku Nation is a bit like Brigadoon; if you want to visit, you have to wait for the times and places when it appears. You don’t get a choice as to where and when, and whether you’re ‘feeling it’ when it does show up. You either go, or you skip out until the next time it appears, elsewhere and elsewhen – assuming you’ll be up to it then.

At some point, you either have to give up or suck it up. It would seem that I haven’t quite gotten to the point of being willing to give up just yet.

On the other hand, upon taking a turn around the artists’ booths, it occurs to me that after one season of obtaining commissions, there’s nothing here of any particular interest to me anymore. After all, it I want a representation of you in anime form, I can just fire up Stable Diffusion and get, if not exactly what I want, a reasonable collection of possibilities, and faster than any of these folks can put anything together.

At least it’s crowded enough that I don’t think anyone really needs to concern themselves with the possibility that AI is actually hurting these artists just yet. That, and the fact that my requests are particularly specific; I’m not exactly the ideal client, as far as they might be concerned. Most of them would be glad to not have to deal with requests like mine, especially given the backstory.

Then again, money is money, and a commission is a commission.

***

In its own way, the dealers’ room is no better. There really doesn’t feel like there’s anything that I haven’t already seen before, in some form or another. Oh, the slogans and catchphrases change from year to year, just like the anime titles do, but that doesn’t make them new and different in my eyes, it just looks like a slightly different riff on old themes. And the unfamiliar aspects just make them less appealing; I don’t know what title this or this or this thing is from, why should I be interested in it?

Gosh, I sound so jaded, don’t I?

You’d think there would be something for me to latch onto, something that strikes a balance between new and familiar, to which I could say, “now this is worth the price of admission.” And I suppose, given that there are two and a half days left to this, I should be able to find something along those lines, assuming I could get out of this funk.

Then again, those truly good sights, sounds and experiences are meant to be shared, and that just tends to twist the knife a bit.

I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have you to keep track of and bounce thoughts off of, but I notice a lot more couples as I wander past the exhibits on display in the convention center. Maybe it’s just that I notice them more in the midst of my own lack, but either way, I still see them. I guess it’s nice to see that there’s hope for the average lonely otaku, except that I no longer qualify as ‘average,’ if I ever did.

***

With such a lackluster showing in the places I’d usually frequent, it was time to actually open the guidebook, and see if there was something on the schedule worth checking out before I’d need to show up in the Hyatt lobby in order to herd the writers’ panel over to our room for the customary Friday night pizza dinner. One of the games being debuted seemed interesting, as it was based on a video game character you and Daniel enjoyed watching various gamers play.

It may be that there’s enough fun to be had in just rolling the dice and seeing if you inflicted damage on the boss character, but as there were more people already there than player slots, I decided to move on. I can’t even decide if you would have enjoyed playing it, honey.

***

I eventually found myself in a video screening room, watching a series about a group of high school girls trying to get to Antarctica, each for their own reasons (a need for excitement in one’s life; a job requirement for a lonely idol; something different and interesting to do; a search for closure regarding a mother lost there three years previously).

Considering my own adventures and misadventures in travel, somehow this anime strikes a chord with me. No, I have no particular desire to journey to Antarctica (and the fact that several of the girls are decidedly bored with their ordinary life in Japan proves yet again that one person’s exotic is another’s humdrum, and vice versa), but the desire to do something with one’s life is certainly something to relate to – that, and the need to have friends to do that something with. At least I don’t have concerns about finding closure regarding your departure, although I suppose the fact that I keep writing you is a matter of coming to terms with it.

Maybe this is the something I needed to redeem this weekend. I certainly wouldn’t mind finding someone to watch it with.

But until I do, honey, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck; I’m going to need it.