Dearest Rachel –
I’m grateful for the fact that I didn’t wait until you left to compare you to the literally proverbial ‘good wife’ of chapter 31. You knew how highly I thought of you; you didn’t have to wait until you were gone for me to say nice things about you. It’s one of those things that I don’t have to feel regret about corresponding to your passing.
On the other hand, there are a number of ways I may have overstated the comparison between you and her; to be fair, it doesn’t have so much to do with you as it does with myself.
Her husband is known at the city ·meetings [L gates; C the place where city leaders meet],
Proverbs 31:23, Expanded Bible
where he ·makes decisions as one of [L sits with] the ·leaders [L elders] of the land.
Again, this is not a shortcoming on your part that I never was, nor really wanted to be, this kind of husband. When you said yes to me, you didn’t know what I was to become (or not to become); sure, I had waited until I had a stabile position before approaching you, but that meant nothing in terms of future prospects. I had no ambitions of climbing up any sort of corporate ladder; I assembled data for the decision-makers; I never aspired to be one of them, myself. Thankfully, in such a company as mine, that wasn’t something I needed to concern myself about.
But it goes deeper than that.
Foolish people cannot understand wisdom.
Proverbs 24:7, Expanded Bible
They ·have nothing to say [L do not open their mouth] in ·a discussion [L the gate; C where the elders make decisions].
I woke up this morning with essentially nothing to write you about. Oh, sure, I suppose I could have gone on about yesterday afternoon, after I sent my last letter off to you, when I and the boys finally got out of the house and actually did something. Indeed, we plowed through over a hundred dollars worth of grocery coupons, since they would be expiring while we were to be out of town – including finally replacing both pairs of jeans I told you about the other day. I might also mention the restaurant we went to afterwards, and the fact that it was, in many ways, perfect for excluding the girls from – as a Korean corn dog place (I didn’t know those were a thing until recently) it would be teeming with gluten (there goes Ellen), very little keto-friendly (bye Kirsten), and of course, it’s entirely sausage-oriented (pun not intended, but which would send Erin running for the hills).
But that’s barely a paragraph of exposition. And to be honest, I was kind of disappointed in that I had to wait for the boys to be ready to go, and thereby wound up eating after shopping, rather than going to work out (although it shocks me that I’ve turned into that kind of guy who’d rather work out than eat. Then again, I did skip the gym for the hot dog place, so maybe I’m not that guy at all).
I might also tell you about the plans to discuss business with Lars, and this opportunity that’s been presented to us. But that just illustrates my point that much further; I don’t have anything that I can think of to contribute to this conversation at this point. That is, of course, unless you count doubts, and not just about myself (although I’ve made it clear I’ve got plenty of those).
You see, there’s been a lot going on in the financial sector over the time I’ve been sitting around, trying to recover from whatever it is that I’ve had. Two sizable investment banks have collapsed over this very weekend, in part due to what seems to be an over-emphasis on things like ESG than risk management. The thing is, if this means that the market is finally realizing that a corporation’s environmental, social and governance scores don’t mean jack if their bottom line isn’t in order, what does this suggest for a company specializing in such things? Recycling may still be important, but is there going to be a reasonable return on investment given this change in the financial climate?
Such are my thoughts as I go to meet Lars today, although he seems surprisingly more sanguine than I about this whole business. To be fair, he knows the hospital industry, and their attitudes toward expenditures, far better than I do, so his confidence is not without reason. But after talking with him on the subject, it’s clear to me that I do not understand the market, and quite possibly never will; even as he continues to assure me that this is no detriment. Let’s just say that administrators don’t think like accountants, nor vice versa, and leave it at that.
The saving grace of all this is that, if nothing comes of any of this, we’re still basically where we are today, with nothing lost save for whatever hours go into research and due diligence. At the same time, it still feels like I ought to say something, but can’t of anything to add to the conversation thus far.
We’ve got a meeting lined up early next week, so we can learn a little more about the company and its products. Ideally, from there, we can educate sales reps (once we contract with them) in order to market the product here in the States. I still don’t know how to feel about all of this, but as the Brigadier said, “Well, nothing ventured, Doctor…”
Well, maybe I know just enough to look foolish; that’s why I have to watch what I say.
And with that said, keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck. I mean it; we’re really going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 
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